Robin A. Avery, Ph.D.

If I allow myself the freedom and opportunity to experience my feelings, observe

and monitor my emotional reactions, and refuse to invalidate myself:

I will not take impulsive, unconsidered actions that have the potential of creating

drama and crisis.

I will be able to feel my grief deeply, possibly let go of it, and at the very least, learn

to accept and live with it without having grief wield power over my daily existence.

I will not be overpowered, then, by my life’s existential struggles. I will be in a better

position to step back and solve life’s problems without being overwhelmed by them.

I can live a life of self- acceptance and change. I will feel normal and not defective.

I will be able to take charge of my journey instead of having my life tossed around as

if I were floating on a raft, in the middle of the ocean without any oars to steer.

Then I can bring my whole, true self to living. Only then can I lead a value-driven life,

guided by my own healthy values, dreams, and goals.

And only then I can look back and say: “Yes, I lived a purposeful life, a life of

integrity”. What a way to go, and a legacy to leave behind.


by Robin Avery

Knowing that we are not alone and that our emotions and reactions are part of a common humanity is a wellspring for resilience.

This awareness of our common humanity enables us to replace feelings of vulnerability, shame, and defeat with self-compassion and self-acceptance.

The awareness of our common, connected humanity supports dignity through life's struggles, nourishes resilience, and opens the door for the healing of our planet.  7-27-20

Good Character

by Robin Avery

Everyone is running on empty and pretenders, and everyone's goal is independence they just don't know it.  Self-awareness, self-transparency, brutal self-honesty, self-discipline, and the ability to love are the keys to good character.  Ethics and morals are culture driven and man-made.  The former are spiritually driven in sync with a collective consciousness, Godly, and the royal road to truth, purity, goodness, and fairness.

The Invitation

by Oriah Mountain Dreamer

It doesn't interest me
what you do for a living.
I want to know
what you ache for
and if you dare to dream
of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me
how old you are.
I want to know
if you will risk
looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me
what planets are
squaring your moon...
I want to know
if you have touched
the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened
by life's betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know
if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know
if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you
to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us
to be careful
to be realistic
to remember the limitations
of being human.

It doesn't interest me
if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear
the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know
if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,

It doesn't interest me
to know where you live
or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn't interest me
who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me
where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know
what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know
if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like
the company you keep
in the empty moments.